It is a well known fact that the right pair of high heels can really pull an outfit together, and the wrong pair can make your outfit look, well, wrong. There are several things to consider when you are choosing the perfect pair of shoes, and this article will take a look at these factors, and give you tips to help ensure that you, your outfit, and your heels, look fabulous.
There are many different types of high heels, including pumps, platforms, sandals, and high heeled boots, all of them sexy, and all of them designed to produce a different effect. Pumps are the most classic high heel shoes, and women have been wearing them for years to make themselves look taller, and to make their legs look longer and leaner as well. Pumps work well for professional events, as well as events like weddings, and family reunions where a less ostentatious style is best.
Platform shoes are perfect for women who want to feel taller and make their legs look longer. The higher the platform, though, the more difficult it will be to walk in the shoes, at least initially, so allow yourself some extra time to break them in, so to speak. Platforms are best for fun, trendy outfits, like mini dresses, short skirts, and even jeans.
Sandals with heels are very, very, sexy, and very versatile as well. Most sandals, including flip flops, which fall under the category of high heeled shoes, have small, delicate heels, called kitten heels, which gives them a look that can be dressed up or dressed down, depending on your preferences.
A unique high heel look can be achieved by wearing high heel boots. Whether thigh high or stiletto, the right pair of high heel boots looks perfect under medium length or short skirts, jeans, or dress pants.
When you are choosing high heel shoes, it is a good idea to keep the occasion for which they will be worn in mind. If the event or occasion requires a lot of walking or running or dancing, a lower heeled high heel is probably best. While you are at it, do not forget to experiment with your color choices. Basic black always works, but do not underestimate the sex appeal of a red, or other brightly hued shoe, either.
Above all, remember that a sexy high heel only works if you know how to work it. Be confident, have fun, and make sure to choose shoes that are comfortable as well as aesthetically pleasing, and you will look your best in whichever pair of high heeled shoes you choose.
The right bustier can help a woman feel both sexy and beautiful, but the wrong size can make a woman feel like they are either squeezed in, or completely drowning in fabric. The culprit in either of these situations is incorrect bra size. It has been estimated that 80 percent of women are wearing a bra that is either too big or too small, or does not offer enough support, even if it is the correct size. Before you buy your next bustier read on to find out more about choosing the right bra size.
Perfectly fitting bras and lingerie molds and shapes the body, as well as providing support and figure enhancement. Improperly fitting lingerie does the exact opposite.
Common sense says, if you have a bra that fits properly, that bra is an accurate representation of your bra size, but it is important to keep in mind that sizing varies between manufacturers. It is usually obvious that when you find a bra or a bustier that does not fit properly, but there are other signs that a bra or bustier just is not the right fit as well. Take a look at the cups, and if you find that you do not quite fill them, you need a smaller size. On the other hand, if the edges of the cups do not lie flat against the sides of your breasts, you could probably stand to go up a size.
If the center panel of the bra does not lie flat, this is also a sign that either the cup size is too small, or that that e panel may not be large enough to cover the separation between your breasts. If you have a minimizer, however, do not worry if it seems to fit but does not seem to meet the above criteria, since minimizers usually do not rest against the breastbone.
Pay attention to the straps of your bra and or bustier as well. If the straps are always falling, consider a different strap style. If the straps dig into your shoulders, it might be time to go down a band size.
Keep in mind that when you decide to go up a cup size, the band size stays the same, but when you go up a band size, your cup size will increase as well. Buying the perfect bra can greatly enhance and improve your appearance, and ensure that you look just right in that sexy, new bustier as well.
The first evening gown was decidedly not very sexy, at least by modern standards. In the 19th Century, when going out to theatres and opera houses was very fashionable among people of a certain class, evening gowns were long and heavy, the skirts reaching the floor, and the necklines high and the sleeves long. Of course, decetolage played a part in some dress styles, but the hems of the evening gowns really remained long until about 1920, when they rose daringly above the knee, and necklines dipped down as far as possible.
This trend of decidedly sexy evening gown styles continued through WWII, when fabric became scarce, and dress hems were raised out of necessity. The 1950s saw the advent of that quintessential sexy evening gown, the cocktail dress. In the 1960s, hemlines for all types of dresses and skirts were raised to a new height with some only just long enough to sufficiently cover underwear. Slits on the sides of skirts and dresses were not uncommon, either. Hem and necklines continued to become more varied as the seventies saw the advent of the wrap dress, and other, and further variations on the sexy evening gown.
In the 21st Century, women are decidedly freer to express themselves through dress than at any other time in history. Gone are binding whale bone corsets and crinolines, voluminous petticoats, and bustles. Todays corsets are light and comfortable, and todays dresses can be as sheer, curve hugging, short, and as sexy as the wearer chooses. Evening gowns are not always the traditionally cut outfits meant to be worn at corporate functions and stuffy state dinners anymore either. Women can wear shockingly sexy evening gowns when they are out having fun, or even shockingly sexier evening gowns when they are at home having fun, and the sky is truly the limit.
When you are looking for the perfect sexy evening gown, whatever the occasion, why not order one online? It is fast, easy, and fun, and, if you take the time to record all of your measurements before you start shopping, much less time consuming than dragging armload after armload of possibilities with you into the dressing room. Just make sure, again, that you take your hip, chest, and other applicable measurements before you start, and keep in mind that size designations like Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large, and Plus Size can vary, so do not assume that you are automatically a certain size, without first comparing it to the measurement designations on the manufacturers sizing chart.
Whichever sexy evening gown you choose, have fun shopping.
Weddings are a wonderful and romantic time full of long lasting memories. Nearly everyone usually has some memory of watching children at weddings in obviously uncomfortable clothes. While seeing photographs of really cute kids in wedding pictures is great, their comfort is also very important.
Listed below are a few key tips on how to dress your kids comfortably for the big day:
Dress them appropriately for the time of year and time of day. If attending a summer wedding, nice cool dresses, even sleeveless are fine for little girls. For a summer wedding, a dress that falls just above the knee that is made of silk, linen or cotton is fine. Satin, velvet, or other warm material, are great for a winter wedding. There is no need to dress little girls in long floor length formal gowns for weddings. First of all, the excess material may become a trip hazard. Even though some brides may not mind, always try to avoid dressing girls in white.
For boys, comfort is still important and while jackets and ties are adorable, they can be quite restrictive. Depending on the boy's age, a shirt and tie is quite fine. Unless boys are taking part in the wedding, tuxedos should be avoided. At some point, especially after the picture taking, the tie can be removed so that they are even more comfortable.
Shoes MUST be comfortable. Since kids' feet are still soft, shoes that are tight will give them grief. Heels are also cute, and some little girls like them because it makes them feel gown-up. For children under 8 years old however they are not recommended for extended wear.
For kids who will be a part of the wedding party, their shoes should be comfort to walk in.
Comfort is especially important if the children are taking part in the wedding. Granted, the style for children in the wedding party should be taken from the tone of the wedding. Nonetheless, comfort can be enhanced by not dressing flower girls and mini-brides in heavy material. Likewise, a boy shouldn't be confined throughout to keep on his tux; after the formalities are over the jackets can go.
It is also important to remember that children are more likely to behave properly if dressed comfortably. Kids are more likely to be fussy and fidgety if dressed in clothing that is hot and itchy. Uncomfortably dressed children may seem cute but eventually they can become too much to handle. Pictures and videos will bear lasting evidence of kids who were uncomfortably dressed at a wedding. Their facial expressions and actions will be obvious signs that they were not completely happy.
Finally, if children are under 10-years old, it is a good idea to pack an extra change of clothes. This is especially important for very young children as they may spill their food or drink on themselves. Yu do not want your children going through the entire wedding in soiled clothes, plus, it may also make then uncomfortable.
Dressing kids comfortably for a wedding is important to ensuring the day is not disrupted with complaints so you can have a wonderful and memorable day.
What better way to get into the holiday spirit than by buying Christmas pajamas for kids. The many designs and styles available mean that there will be something for any child. Some kids will actually ask for this stylish sleepwear after seeing them advertised.
Some parents will find that getting ready for bedtime is less of a hassle and little ones are excited to don their special Christmas pajamas. Best of all, even though they are ideal for the holiday season, these garments are suitable for anytime of the year.
Types of Children Sleepwear
Popular styles of this type of holiday themed sleepwear include footsies and two-piece ensembles. Footsies are great for keeping little feet warm since the holiday season tends to be cold. If a child needs to go to the bathroom in the night, they can do so without having to step on the cold floor.
The patterns on Christmas pajamas run the gamut from religious to whimsical figures and images popular at this time of year. The festive colors used include bright reds and green, just about anything to help create that holiday feel.
Feminine colors such as pink and others pastel shades are common when it comes to girls' pajamas. Many manufacturers also include matching nightgowns which makes little girls feel a bit grown up - like mommy.
Choosing Children's Sleepwear
There are special requirements to bear in mind when selecting nighttime wear for children. Comfort and safety are two of the most important considerations when buying clothing for kids. These days, kids' sleepwear is generally made of fire retardant material.
While this is good, it is also important to make sure kids are not allergic to the chemicals used or to the dyes. Other safety issues are related to the size of the clothing purchased. Toddlers needed to get sleepwear that is the right fit so that there is no risk of them tripping when walking.
Avoiding clothing that is too tight is important especially for sleepwear. The skin of babies and young children can chafe easily.
Manufacturers of clothing for this group are aware of this and include sizing charts to help shoppers get just the right fit. Cotton and wool are the materials used to make most children sleepwear.
Boys' and girls' pajamas are available in various sizes which range from babies to teen and designs generally appeal to all age groups. Since this is typically a busy season for most people, the convenience of shopping online cannot be ignored. If the plan is to buy Christmas pajamas or just pretty girls pajamas these item can be purchased online at any time of the day or night.
When it comes to sleepwear for girls the choice is almost limitless. These garments make great presents for children, so anyone who is in a bind for gift ideas need think no further than a pair of Christmas pajamas.
Some families love having everyone dress up in Christmas pajamas the night before Christmas day. There is just that special feeling of love and togetherness that this brings at this special time of the year that helps create lasting memories.
Even if some of the bigger kids are not thrilled about being seen in Christmas pajamas, later on they become part of memories that they cherish. Many kids actually grow up and continue this tradition when they have their own families. Many manufacturers now make it is easy to buy complete matching sets for the entire family.
Organic cotton clothing provides beautiful, attractive pieces for everyone from newborns all the way up to our elders, from men and women to children as well. There are many different types of materials that can be used and worn by anyone and everyone, and when the clothing first debuted it was much more expensive than mainstream products that were made with toxins and chemicals.
For many years consumers had no idea about all of the chemicals, toxins, and harmful products that were used in clothing products, and they also had no idea that those harmful substances could be absorbed into their bodies through the skin. The purity and chemical free benefits that organic cotton clothing provides is unmatched by the conventional chemical filled articles. Most of the crops that are grown around the world today are grown with insect killers, weed killers, fertilizers, and other chemicals. Clothes that are made with these chemicals can cause skin irritation, rashes, allergic reactions, and even some difficulty breathing.
Many parents today are choosing organic cotton clothing for their babies, but the truth is that there are benefits to be had by adults and older children who wear the safe clothes as well. Clothes that are natural should not only be grown with no toxins used on them, but they also should be treated, manufactured, and dyed in natural dyes and materials that are not chemically produced in any way. There are many different benefits that come along with using natural clothes.
One of the best benefits that come along with purchasing this environmentally responsible type of clothing is the fact that prices are generally in the same ballpark as they are for conventional, chemically treated clothing. Years ago the organic cotton clothing was much more expensive than regular clothing, but today the prices run about the same, for the most part. What is really great about this material today is the fact that it can now naturally be grown in different colors without using any harmful dyes at all. Some of these colors include yellow, red brown, and green.
This type of clothing is becoming more and more popular with everyone of all ages for many different reasons. Those who have sensitive skin are not the only ones who benefit from using eco friendly substances, and everyone, regardless of age or sensitivity, can reap the benefits of wearing high quality, beautiful, and comfortable organic cotton clothing.
Any good conversation tips must include reference to things you just should not do. There are some habits that you should put a stop to so you can communicate effectively.
People get annoyed and generally avoid those who display bad communication habits, so learning about them and stopping them if you do them is important to good conversation.
The following conversation tips explain some habits that people display during conversations.
1. Talking on and on.
Also know as a blabbermouth, these people tend to monopolize the conversation. They also are usually reduced to just chattering away with nobody really listening. The key sign of this habit is someone who talks non-stop and will not let pothers speak.
These people also never really seem to be talking about anything of interest, just talking about themselves or boring subjects.
Most often someone displays this habit because he or she is nervous. To help someone who displays this habit try to make them feel at ease by showing interest in them and asking questions.
2. All about me.
Someone who has this habit always turns the conversation into something about them. They use the phrases 'me too' or 'I know how you feel' a lot. The goal for them is to get the attention on them and allow them to speak. Some people may do this because they feel others are monopolizing the conversation or they may simply want attention.
To help someone with his problem you can pay attention to them, make them feel like they are a valued member of the conversation. If they try to turn the conversation about them then politely direct it back to the original person.
We all know someone who is way too willing to give advice. This person always has an answer for any situation. They are most often known as a know it all. They seem to know everything on every topic. They also have a way of making their way the only way to do anything. These people may really believe they are helping, so it is sometimes hard to redirect the conversation away from their lecture.
The best way to handle a know it all is to listen and thank them for their advice, then change the subject. When the constantly want to lecture you may want to tell them you are not really looking for advice right now and you would like to handle it your way. Know it alls can be the most difficult habit to handle.
4. Not contributing.
These people like to stand around and listen, but not say much. They may interject occasionally, but usually with just a brief sentence or one word answer. They may also never speak, but just use4 body language. The problem here is these people can seem like they are more eavesdropping than conversing and this can make others in the conversation feel awkward.
To help someone who does not speak up much is to actively draw them into the conversation. Most often people display this habit because they are shy.
Everyone has told a juicy piece of gossip at one point or another. Gossip can be rather damaging, especially when it isn't true. This makes many people feel uneasy around someone who is gossiping. Most people gossip because they feel insecure about themselves.
They may see others lives as more exciting so they'd rather talk about them. Try asking this person questions about their life. Try to find something they are interested in to draw them away from gossip and into a good conversation.
These habits can be annoying at best and conversation stoppers at worse. You should try to improve you communication skills by taking these habits away. If you notice someone else displaying one of these habits you might want to use your new found conversation tips to help them stop.
One characteristic of good communication skills is the ability to start a conversation. How are you supposed to start a conversation anyway? Starting a conversation is very interesting and it has been coined with so many names. Bachelors call it pick up lines. Salesmen call it pitches. Writers call it an introduction. Come to think of it, how do you even start talking about starting a conversation? Here are some tips that you might want to consider so that you can start a conversation well.
1. Do your homework. If you are going to talk to someone and you know who you are going to be talking to then you should review this person's background. You have to do your homework. If this person is a Nobel Prize winner then you should review this person's works. If this person is a businessman then you might want to learn a little about this person's business and the industry it is in.
If you are going to talk to someone and you have been informed about it already then you better do your homework. The best examples of these people are the talk show hosts. Look at David Letterman, Oprah, and Conan O'Brien. These talk show hosts know a lot about their guests.
2. Don't come on too strong or too soft. When you meet someone for the first time, you have to strike a perfect balance between aggressiveness and passivity. If you come on to strong then the person you are talking to might think that you are too aggressive. This person might think that you are a harmful and desperate person.
On the other hand, if you come on too soft, this person might think that you are simply uninterested in talking to them. You certainly do not want to go to these two extremes. You have to strike a perfect balance and find the right way to talk to this person.
3. Say the first lines clearly. When you talk to someone for the first time, you have to be very clear when you talk. You do not want the first words out of your mouth to be misinterpreted right away. This is certainly the last thing that you want to happen. If you are going to say something then you have to make sure that you get your idea across properly.
4. Use the person's name if you have been introduced. It is good to use the person's name when you talk. This makes the person feel special and unique. If you want to get on the good side of a person then you should use their name often when you talk to them. If you have not been introduced then you should introduce yourself and allow the other person to introduce him or herself to you. Be civilized and act as human beings with each other. Be diplomats in your own right.
5. Avoid sensitive topics like politics, religion, and sexual orientation. If you are going to talk to someone for the first time then you should avoid sensitive topics as much as possible. There are too many issues in sensitive topics like politics, religion, and sexual orientation. It is not advisable to talk about topics like this because you might end up quarreling and debating at the end of the day.
You certainly do not want this to happen to you. Starting a great conversation should not be so hard at all. If you want to build rapport with a fellow human being then you have to make it a point to talk properly and communicate your ideas effectively. Be as polite as possible and avoid topics that will do more harm than good. If you want to enjoy conversation with another person then make sure that you hone your communication skills by practicing the tips mentioned.
I think we all know that most women would love it if their boyfriend was to work on being able to have better conversation and communication in their relationship. And I think we also know that most men are a little bit too stubborn to admit that they might need to put some work in when it comes to being able to have better conversations with their girlfriend. You don't want to allow that stubborn streak to end up making you feel like you don't need to work on bridging any communication gap that you might have. Not if you are serious about being able to keep her as your girlfriend.
Here is some advice that should guide you if you want to be able to have better conversations with the woman you are dating:
1) Any conversation that you have with your girlfriend should be one where you are doing just as much listening as you are talking.
Some guys think that talking more often to their girlfriend means that they should do all of the talking and none of the listening and all I can say is, that's not going to work out too well. If you want to make her happy and you want to strengthen up your relationship, then you need to get good at listening just as much as you need to get good at making small talk with her. More than anything else, showing her that you are willing to listen to the things that she has to say is a good way to let her know that you are definitely serious about her. That's what you really want her to see, so go ahead and do some listening.
2) It's okay to add some fluff into the conversation if you have to.
You can't always go deep and you don't always have to. Like I said, most of what your girlfriend wants is to see that you are at least willing to make the effort and sometimes adding in a little bit of fluff into the conversation will do just that. You may want to get serious with her once in a while, but not every conversation has to be some deep psycho analysis of where you and her are going. You can lighten things up once in a while.
3) Take what you learn about her and act on it.
The best way to show your girlfriend that you are actually paying attention to what she has to say is to take what she tells you and what you learn about her and do something with that information. For example, if you find out that she is an art lover and you really never knew that about her before, why not plan some weekend getaway to an art gallery? Doing little things like this helps you to gain some ground with her because she knows that you are not just letting her words go in one ear and out the other one. She will know that you are actually paying attention to what it is that she has to say to you.
If you're at a club or a bar or somewhere else where there are girls out to meet people, which ones should you tend to aim to flirt with, and possibly end up dating? Take a good look at what the girls are doing. If they are just scanning the crowd, not talking to each other very much, this means one of two things. They may be desperate for a date, which may well be a type of girl to go for if you need to build up your confidence, but you may not find there's much inside; or they may be looking for entertainment, which is likely to be hard work.
It is generally better to try flirting with groups of girls that are spending a good proportion of their time talking to one another, but are also looking around. These are probably interesting girls to meet, and if the group is open enough that you could easily join it, that's another good sign. If the girls aren't looking around at all, they aren't interested in meeting anyone else! Look also for open body language. Folded arms and legs are not good signs; lively, lighthearted conversation is what you're looking for!
Once you've seen somebody you fancy in an open group or alone, before you put your foot in it, test the water. Start your flirting now, by looking at the girl for about four or five seconds. Look away for a couple of seconds with a small smile on your face, then look back again. If she's caught your eye and has a slight smile on her face, you're in with a good chance!
The next stage is to walk up to her, and begin your routine. You could do this by walking somewhere with a purpose in mind, and "accidentally" brushing against her. She will know that that was your real intention, which is exactly what you want, and you'll know whether it's worth continuing to flirt by whatever she says or does next! You'll either get a playful smile or something similar like a joke, which is a green light to go ahead, or you'll get a look of disdain or something like that, which is a signal to go away.
Don't worry about getting rejected! The best way of looking at this is to imagine that you're the prize, and if she's not interested then it's her loss. If she rejected you in an overly harsh way, would you have wanted her anyway? If you worry too much, then your lack of confidence will be broadcast for all to see by your body language. Also, be of the mindset that it doesn't matter whether you end up dating this girl or not. There are plenty of single, available girls out there! A great way to build your confidence, if you need to, is to keep doing this until you are comfortable doing it!
It's best to either join the group on your own; you will be displaying a lot of confidence if you do this, which is very attractive; or with one other man. Don't travel in packs when you're flirting; it just doesn't work. It's far too off-putting.
Once you've joined the group, don't ignore the rest of the people there; that would be rude. However, do concentrate most of your attention on the girl you fancy. Otherwise she will not get the message; she may even think you've gone off her!
If things continue to go well, you'll want to find some reason to touch her! I'm not talking about a handshake or a peck on the cheek, either. If she is close to your personal space, then she's looking to be touched, actually. Perhaps hold her arm lightly while you point something out to her. Touch does make a great deal of difference, and it should be high on the list in your flirting repertoire! As she and you get more comfortable with touching each other, you can then start to be more daring with your flirting! Who knows, maybe you'll get as far as a first kiss, or even further, tonight!
Conversation is a skill that takes practise to develop, and experts in the art of conversation make you feel right at home with them straight away! Starting a conversation is the most difficult part of the game; once the conversation has been started past a few sentences, it's usually relatively easy to keep it flowing. What you are looking to achieve when you practise your conversation skills is to get the conversation to flow, without awkward pauses, and to make it about light topics. If you can manage that, and be actively interested in the conversation, then you'll do fine!
If you're reading this article, the chances are good that you're not that great at conversation. You've probably had plenty of situations where you're trying to think of something to say, and an awkward pause rears its ugly head! Hopefully this article will help steer you onto the right path towards becoming a conversation expert!
For conversation starters, you should ideally be looking for a topic that would engage the interest of the person with whom you will be speaking. For example, could you compliment them on their clothing or appearance? Are they carrying anything unusual? If you can't think of anything, maybe you could ask them for their opinion about some topic, such as which bottle of wine you should buy to complement a meal? A quick guide to making the conversation flow successfully follows.
Closed questions are questions for which a one-word answer will suffice, such as "Yes" or "No." "Do you live close by?" is an example of such a question. The trouble with these questions is that if the person you are talking to responds with a short answer like "Yes," there is nothing to latch on to that will allow you to develop the conversation further. It's best to avoid asking this type of question. If you are asked a closed question, you can help the conversation to flow by giving further details in your reply, and by asking a question in return. For example, a possible reply to "Do you live close by?" would be "Yes, I live about a quarter of a mile away, in the new housing estate. What do you think of the area?"
The question included in the answer given above is an example of an open question. Open questions are questions that require an answer with greater depth, such as, "I'm hosting a dinner party tonight. What wine would you recommend, and why?" The answer will give you more time and more information to allow you to move the conversation forward. Try to ask more of this sort of question and you will improve your conversation skills by leaps and bounds!
It's definitely worth asking questions about the person you are talking to, especially if you can notice details about them while doing so. For example, you could ask about the coat they are wearing. When they tell you where they got it, you could ask them what they like about that store, and what other stores they like to frequent! If you find they have a favourite subject, such as fashion, ask them lots of questions about that subject. People love to talk about themselves, so if you give them a chance, you can do plenty of listening and still come across as a great conversationalist! This is where you can start to really excel at the art of conversation.
You should also pay attention to your body language, making sure it is open and relaxed; leaning forward slightly, open arms and legs are in; leaning back with crossed arms and legs are definitely out! Also, be animated while you are talking. Moving your arms helps to illustrate points that you are making, and listening to someone speaking in a voice that naturally rises and falls in pitch is far more interesting than listening to somebody speaking in a monotone!
Try to catch their name, and use it every now and again. Three times or so in a first conversation would be good. Make sure you don't sound patronising, though. You're looking to remember their name if possible; you will score highly if you can do this well; and also, people love hearing their name!
There are certain subjects you should avoid if you are meeting someone for the first time, and want to move things forward. These are any subject that could be potentially explosive, such as religious views and politics. Try also not to bring the news into the conversation, except for light-hearted "dead donkey" pieces. Talking about someone who was murdered on the high street probably won't get you invited to dinner very quickly!
The vital thing that you must do to improve your conversation skills is to practise talking and listening to people! Practise wherever and whenever you can. Practise at parties, at the local bar, at the supermarket and on the high street. You will also improve your confidence. In fact, go and do some practising the very next opportunity you get! There's no time like the present to improve your conversation skills.
Do you have no problem starting conversations but flounder once the ice breaker question is over? Once you have mastered the art of how to start a conversation with just about anybody in any situation, generating lively conversation for more than a few minutes is a conversation skill all of its own.
For example, you can easily approach an attractive individual from across the room, say your hellos and then get a standard response - the standard way how to start a conversation. You may then make small talk with safe topics like the weather, the economy and your connection to the party host for approximately 5 minutes and then end up facing the so-called conversational wall.
Either way, you know how to start a conversation but you don't how to sustain it. The good news is that you can improve your conversation skills with the following tips.
Assume Your Share of the Responsibility
Regardless of who started the conversation, you must assume your share of the responsibility to keep it going for longer than the 5-minute mark for small talk. You cannot be indifferent to the obvious effort being made by the other person to continue the conversation for several reasons.
First, your social interaction with said person will die an early death, which may mean losing a potentially important personal and professional contact. Second, you may acquire a reputation within your circle of acquaintances as someone who knows how to start a conversation but falls flat during the conversation itself; you may end up becoming the social wallflower, not the social butterfly.
To assume your share of the responsibility in keeping the conversation going, you must make an effort, too. Keep in mind that a stimulating conversation is a two-way street.
Ask the Right Questions
One of the most important conversation skills is the ability to ask the right questions. When we say the right questions, we are referring to the following:
- Open-ended questions are designed to elicit answers that lead to more stimulating questions, thus, keeping the conversation going. You must avoid questions that lead to monosyllabic responses (i.e., yes, no, perhaps, or I don't know) because then you are slowly but surely killing both the other person's interest in talking to you and the conversation itself. By now, you will notice that you do know how to start a conversation but you also know how to kill it prematurely.
- Questions about the other person's interests, passions and aspirations. You want to draw him/her out of her shell by trusting you with what is happening in his/her present and what he/she plans for the future. Keep in mind that everybody wants to talk about themselves because it is the single topic that they know best.
In fact, if you want to know the best way how to start a conversation with a person you find attractive, we suggest asking somebody else, say, a common friend, a thing or two about him/her. You will then have a specific interest, passion or hobby to ask him/her to start the conversation.
Listen with Genuine Interest
Now that you are asking the right questions, you must listen to the answers with genuine interest. Not only will you learn something new about the other person - or something new about other topics - but you will also encourage him/her to continue talking.
When you listen with genuine interest, you can also expect the same courtesy from the other person. And that is how to keep a conversation going and how to gain new friends!
If you will remember, the most important tip in how to start a conversation is to practice, practice and practice your conversation skills even when you experience more failures than successes during your first few tries. In time, your skills in starting and sustaining stimulating conversations will grow by leaps and bounds so much so that others will seek out your company and you will become the life of the party in more ways than one.